From Silence to Healing: My Journey Through Childhood Sexual Abuse

When I was five years old, my innocence was stolen by someone who was supposed to keep me safe—my babysitter. At that age, I didn’t have the words to describe what was happening, nor the capacity to understand it. What I did know was the confusion, the shame, and the fear that sank deep into me.

Like many survivors, I grew up carrying a secret. For years, I tried to push it away, to pretend it didn’t matter. But the truth is, childhood sexual abuse doesn’t just go away. It weaves itself into how we see ourselves, how we trust others, and how we navigate relationships.

Now, at nearly 60 years old, I not only stand as a survivor but also as a therapist who helps others heal from similar experiences. Looking back, I can see how what happened at five years old rippled through my life—but I can also see the ways healing has been possible.

The Hidden Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Research shows that childhood sexual abuse can lead to lasting effects:

• Difficulty with trust and relationships – Survivors often struggle to feel safe in close connections.

• Anxiety, depression, and PTSD – The body and mind remember trauma long after the event.

• Shame and self-blame – Many children believe they somehow caused or deserved the abuse, which is never true.

  
  

As a therapist, I’ve seen these themes echoed in clients. As a survivor, I’ve lived them.

My Healing Journey

Healing has not been linear for me. It’s been a lifelong process of facing painful truths, learning new ways of relating to myself, and building a life rooted in safety and compassion.

Breaking the Silence

Speaking my truth for the first time was terrifying but freeing. Shame only grows in secrecy. When I finally shared my story, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It was as if I had taken the first step toward reclaiming my life.

Reclaiming My Body

Abuse made me feel disconnected and unsafe in my own skin. Over time, I’ve learned to honor and listen to my body instead of ignoring it. I started practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. These practices helped me reconnect with myself in a profound way.

Therapy and Support

Sitting with someone who believed me, validated my story, and gave me tools to cope made all the difference. Therapy became a safe space where I could explore my feelings without judgment. It was a place to learn how to navigate my emotions and build resilience.

Reframing My Story

I came to understand: I am not defined by what happened to me. I am defined by how I’ve chosen to heal and grow. This realization was empowering. It allowed me to see my experiences as part of my journey, not my identity.

Why I Became a Therapist

For me, becoming a therapist wasn’t just a profession—it was part of my healing. Every person I sit with reminds me of something I once needed to hear: you are not alone, and you are not broken. I find joy in helping others find their way to healing.

Clinical studies confirm what I’ve seen in my office: with the right support, survivors can find relief from symptoms, rebuild trust, and create meaningful, joyful lives. It’s a beautiful process to witness.

A Message for Survivors

If you’re reading this and you carry the weight of childhood sexual abuse, I want to tell you what I wish someone had told me when I was younger:

• What happened to you was not your fault.

• You are not alone, even if it feels that way.

• Healing is possible—slowly, gently, and on your own terms.

  
  

The scars don’t disappear, but they don’t have to define you. You can reclaim your voice, your power, and your future. Remember, healing is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time.

A Step Forward

If parts of my story resonate with you, I encourage you to take one small step today. That step might be confiding in a trusted friend, journaling your feelings, or reaching out to a therapist who understands trauma. Healing begins with connection—and you don’t have to walk this path alone.

Embracing the Journey

Each step you take is a step toward freedom. Embrace the journey, even when it feels daunting. You have the strength within you to face your past and create a brighter future.

Walk tall today,

Chris